Radhe Your Most Wanted Bhai movie cast: Salman Khan, Jackie Shroff, Randeep Hooda, Disha Patani, Sudhanshu Pandey, Megha Akash, Gautam Gulati, Darshan Jariwala, Vishwajeet Pradhan
Radhe Your Most Wanted Bhai movie director: Prabhudheva
Radhe Your Most Wanted Bhai movie rating: Half star
Radhe is a good cop. Rana is a bad guy. There are drugs. Impressionable kids. And death. You know where this going, right? Is that even a question?
That’s the thing with Bhai movies. No putting pressure on the brain. Just a string of one-liners. A series of songs featuring jerking pelvises. That familiar bracelet with the blue stone. And no evidence of a plot. Not a shred.
But even with sub-zero expectations of What We Will Get In A Salman Khan Movie, and the all-round empty hideousness of Prabhu Deva flicks, Radhe slides lower than low. What’s lower than low? I don’t know. Only Bhai does, as he wishes us Eid mubarak and speaks of biryani, but then quickly balances that little bit of subversion with hoping for a Swachch Bharat, tacking on a Jai Hind at the end.
I’m exhausted just at the thought of trying to tell you more, but here goes nothing. Randeep Hooda and his cohorts, wearing black leather and blacker frowns, go about smashing people. Blood gushes from various orifices, sometimes from necks, other times hands and legs. Bones are broken. Body parts are severed and served. And we grimace and flinch.
The director Prabhudheva’s fetish for freakish violence is almost as strong as his penchant for dressing his leading ladies in the most outlandish outfits. Not that Diya (Disha Patani) needs any clothes to show off her perfect, shockingly chiselled abs. She gets none, either. Her job (Oh my! Yes! She has one!) is that of a model, and from that comes the only real joke of the movie, which gives rise to a smile or two before it is ruined by overuse. You need to build your body, she tells Bhai, patting his rock-hard bicep. Only then will someone give you a job. Well, haha. She also has an immortal one-liner of her own, which she slings at Bhai : I’m freaking ‘p—d off’. Perfect tagline. A still from Radhe featuring Salman Khan.
That’s about the only break you catch in this mindless, moronic mess of a movie in which Bhai does every single thing he’s done a zillion times: bash the baddies, sway the waist, take the shirt off, bash the baddies, sway… You get the idea.Worse, he doesn’t even have an original one-liner in this one, repeating his ‘ek-baar-commitment-kar diya-toh-apni-bhi-nahin-sunta’. What’s the point of a Bhai movie without a catchy one-liner? Poor Hooda, a fine actor buried under terrible lines, deserves better. Also, just how did Jackie Shroff, playing a clownish cop, keep a straight face through the proceedings?
Oh, oh, here I go, asking questions. What did I say about Bhai movies and logic? But one last thing I want to toss in your lap before I go to recover my scrambled brains: is this the most wanted Bhai? Still?
The film is streaming on Zee Plex.